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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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Yo, I’m not exaggeratin’ when I say Santona’s a mix of beauty and madness. Every single block, a chapter in a wild story. I’m always on the edge, screwin’ with dat app code, but always inspired by the vibrance around me. Honestly, this city makes me feel like I’m in a Wes Anderson flick – quirky, unpredictable, and a bit off-kilter.

Santoña: Brittany Ferries' new luxury-cruise ship to arrive in Portsmouth today, when can I see it?